I asked my intuition what I needed to do to meet my man.


It raised an eyebrow at me quizzically, yes my intuition has eyebrows, it was feeling into whether or not I was ready to hear what it had to say.


‘Just tell me already!’


‘OK, stop dating.’


WTF?? Seriously!

My mission, handed to me as an indestructible message burned into my brain, was to only date guys I felt a genuine heart connection with. Which sucked! Because I never met guys like this unless they lived in a different country to me. (If alarms bells are going off for you on hearing this, you’d be right, I, however had no idea this was an issue, it was simply how things were.)



My mission from my intuition might sound harsh, I mean how do you know if a heart connection even exists with someone until you've dated them for a while?


Well...I've always known.


Literally the second I'd meet a guy I intuitively knew if we had the potential to connect deeply or not. (This, btw, is something you can activate within you if it doesn’t come naturally yet.)
But I'd chosen to override this insight for years, mainly because it was hugely inconvenient to my ego.


If I’d not overridden my intuition I’d have had far less distractions from feeling not good enough, and my ego HATED me not feeling good enough. Sure, I felt this way often regardless, but the highs I got from dating inappropriate men were what I looked forward to, without the enticement of flattering attention, what the hell would I do? Become a lonely loser?



When I stopped dating I allowed my fears of being not good enough to come up so I could heal them. Through this healing work I came to love that lonely loser, who no longer felt lonely or at all like a loser anymore. Nope. What had I been thinking, I was a catch!


I continued to follow my heart and a year or so later I made a snap decision to leave London and return to NZ. Which is where I met my awesome partner, who I’m in a mind-blowingly beautiful relationship with.


One way to get better at listening to your intuition and to reap the rewards from doing so, is to follow its advice when it sucks. When we only do the things we’re guided to that are comfortable for us, it’s like trying to get fit by having massages and avoiding working out. You’re getting part of it but you’re missing the major piece.


Change takes courage so I’m going to ask a question to your courageous self.


Is there something uncomfortable you’re being guided to do right now, and if so what difference to your life do you think it’d make if you followed it?

When something in my life went wrong I felt horrendous, so I had to outsource my anger onto someone or something else. And unsurprisingly during this time of my life, things messed up a lot.


Small things that felt big like when I was living with a friend and an underwire from my bra got stuck in her dryer breaking it and costing me money I didn’t have. Or when I fell for online scams and paid for free services.


But also big things too, I finally got the break I was looking for, my dream career was lined up and I was about to walk into it when the owner of the company’s wife left him, he fell into depression and that was the end of that.


I blamed the bra, the scammers and the people who’d messed things up for me, I got angry and upset and that’s how I stayed stuck. Opportunities would arise and fall away for no apparent reason, and minor frustrations plagued my day to day life.


That was until I made a decision that caused a massive shift.

​I chose to take full responsibility for how I was feeling and the things that showed up in my life.


Through doing so I stopped giving my power away to the people and situations I was angry at and claimed that anger as something for me to move through myself. My anger was there to teach me something, to show me parts of myself I was denying, ashamed of, fearful towards, and as long as I was keeping them buried I couldn’t see my true magic.


So yes, sometimes I still get angry, but it takes a lot more to make me angry now than it did before, and when I get angry I acknowledge it and take time to feel through it. This in itself is a magical alchemical process that brings us closer and closer to presence, peace and living in fulfilled joy.


It’s taking ultimate responsibility for ourselves, which is the single most powerful thing any of us can do to create the harmonious world we want to live in.


Laying blame is so often our ‘go to’ response to uncomfortable emotions, if it’s not blaming others then we do it to ourselves. If someone makes us angry there’s massive temptation to blame how we’re feeling on them. Which is OK, as we must honour our true feelings.


But at the same time let’s also realise that how we feel has nothing to do with anyone or anything else, and everything to do with ourselves. We’re only able to be angered by the triggers and fears that already exist within us, and when we take care of these we always end up at compassion, both for ourselves and for others.


I’m now much more able to have compassion for those who think some things I believe are wrong. It took me a while to get here, but I’m grateful for the uncomfortable encounters with these people, and my ability to heal my emotions, as it’s allowed me to step more fully into peacefulness and therefore into my power. Remember that our greatest teachers are often not the people we love to be around.


I’m aware what I’m talking about is some next level mastery shit, and of course not everyone’s going to understand it or embrace it and many will continue to blame others for how they feel. But that’s OK, those people are needed too, they’re helping trigger many into deeper levels of compassion.


Everyone has a right to be where they are and to believe what they believe, no one is better than anyone else. We’ve all been judgemental and we’ve all acted like a**eholes at one point or another, and yet we’re all amazing and we’re all worthy of love.


So if you’re struggling, especially right now, with feeling anger towards others please ask for help.


It doesn’t matter what you believe, your perceived antagonists are your greatest teachers, they’re the ones providing you with the richest opportunities for growth and for living your highest vibrational life. All you have to do is own how you’re feeling because of them, and when you move through those feelings that’s a massive step towards creating the magical life you desire.


If you’d like support with this I’m here for you, book in your free discovery call with me now.

For years I wrote lists of my ideal man. Wanting so much to magically manifest him from what I'd written down. I'd get so frustrated when I'd end up in another shitty short term relationship or meet no one at all. I joked that I was cursed. And in some ways I was, but not in the ways you'd think.


I'm not saying manifestation doesn't work, because it really does! However there's a lot more to it than I thought back then. I hadn't been able to manifest my ideal man because I was terrified of relationships. Yep, I'd deftly avoided getting into a relationship where I'd fall in love, because deep down I desperately didn't want to be in one.


My Dad died when I was 19 and this taught my subconscious that loving a man is a very dumb idea. And as many of us are aware our subconscious’ rules. Which is why it’s so important when we want change, that we create deep shifts which impact us on all levels, not just the ones we’re consciously aware of.


The affect of Dad dying was enough for me to sabotage the potential of a healthy relationship, however that wasn’t the only issue. I also had traumatic past lives and other blocks that compounded my commitment phobia.


I was craving a loving relationship yet I pushed any possibility of one away without even realising I was doing it. That's the thing, if we don't have what we want, there's always a reason why. Which means we have the power to change it. But it’s also why simply writing lists of what we want and imagining how wonderful it'll feel when we get it, often won't be enough to actually manifest it.

The reason I've chosen a photo of me and not one of me and my awesome partner is because the greatest thing I’ve manifested wasn't actually him, no it’s my amazing relationship with me. Because aside from getting over my commitment phobia I also had to see myself for who I truly am and love all of me.


Seeing ourselves and our magic is an ongoing process, there's always more awesome things for us to discover, and it starts with making a commitment to ourselves.


If you feel called to make this commitment to yourself I encourage you to do it without delay. Because through that decision your world will open up to support you having an amazing relationship with yourself. And from there you’ll easily attract an incredible partner.


If you'd like me to support you to do this I’m here for you.

Arohanui x