For years I wrote lists of my ideal man. Wanting so much to magically manifest him from what I'd written down. I'd get so frustrated when I'd end up in another shitty short term relationship or meet no one at all. I joked that I was cursed. And in some ways I was, but not in the ways you'd think.
I'm not saying manifestation doesn't work, because it really does! However there's a lot more to it than I thought back then. I hadn't been able to manifest my ideal man because I was terrified of relationships. Yep, I'd deftly avoided getting into a relationship where I'd fall in love, because deep down I desperately didn't want to be in one. My Dad died when I was 19 and this taught my subconscious that loving a man is a very dumb idea. And as many of us are aware our subconscious’ rules. Which is why it’s so important when we want change, that we create deep shifts which impact us on all levels, not just the ones we’re consciously aware of. The affect of Dad dying was enough for me to sabotage the potential of a healthy relationship, however that wasn’t the only issue. I also had traumatic past lives and other blocks that compounded my commitment phobia. I was craving a loving relationship yet I pushed any possibility of one away without even realising I was doing it. That's the thing, if we don't have what we want, there's always a reason why. Which means we have the power to change it. But it’s also why simply writing lists of what we want and imagining how wonderful it'll feel when we get it, often won't be enough to actually manifest it. The reason I've chosen a photo of me and not one of me and my awesome partner is because the greatest thing I’ve manifested wasn't actually him, no it’s my amazing relationship with me. Because aside from getting over my commitment phobia I also had to see myself for who I truly am and love all of me. Seeing ourselves and our magic is an ongoing process, there's always more awesome things for us to discover, and it starts with making a commitment to ourselves. If you feel called to make this commitment to yourself I encourage you to do it without delay. Because through that decision your world will open up to support you having an amazing relationship with yourself. And from there you’ll easily attract an incredible partner. If you'd like me to support you to do this I’m here for you. Arohanui x
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AuthorPenny shares stories, insights and wisdom about self-love, relationships, finding love and manifesting the life you desire. Archives
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